Life is full of disappointments

Yes I know. Life is full of disappointments. It ain't a bed of roses. It ain't always pretty.

Knowing that particular fact doesn't really help reduce the hurt though. No matter what I say to myself, don't get your hopes to high, don't have any expectations, hope for the best and prepare for the worst, etc. I told that to myself over and over again.

Still when the time comes, disappointment struck me to the core and I got hurt. Yet again. Over and over again.

I hate being hurt so. I hate it, but I doesn't really makes any difference and it will never cease. It will keep coming and coming.

Will it get better in time? Will I look back when I'm older to laugh at this pointless battle against life's challenges? Will it cease to hurt?

I don't think so.

I don't like to depend on other people. I really don't. I think that I can only depend on myself, and if I disappoint myself, I only have myself to blame, and that thought can push me to work harder to not do so to myself. If I depend on other people, what can I do?

I don't like to depend on other people because of one person in my life kept disappointing me since I was small and the worst thing is, that person doesn't even knew it and kept doing it again and again. And I knew that it will not change. And I knew that if i have to depend on that person again I will be let down yet again. I don't want to depend on that person again but this situation will continuously pop out.

Yet I kept hoping that this time it's not gonna be like the past. This time it's different. This time I will not be hurt again.

Just to be let down yet again.

Will this cycle ever end?

I don't think so.

Cause some people never change.